Before November ends..
11/29/17
Before the month ends, I would like to share another story of mine.
But before that let me tell you why I love blogging. I used to update my diary before but I feel like blogging makes me more comfortable it's like a haven for me, an escape, a freedom where I can write things and express what I'm feeling.
Have you ever feel like you hated someone so so much but the things is your heart tells you to forgive and give another chance? If you are thinking that it's about love, you are mistaken. It's about my father. I used to hate him so much and I always remember how scared I was when I was younger. He cheated, had an affair and had a child from a different woman, he resigned from his work when I was a sophomore (highschool) , his words are scary but still we tried to make things work but the thing is, you can't expect it to be as easy, we were all together but you can feel that there is a gap in between. He went to the province to plant on my grandma (mom's side) land , it's been a year I guess and he went back here again because he wasn't feeling well. People might actually think I would be excited since Christmas is coming, we have to be complete but the thing is I'm not. I'm scared. I keep on imagining things like he would do something bad to us. And now he told me he would go back in the province tomorrow. And suddenly, here I am crying while writing this. I admit that I used to hate him so much and feels like the wound from the past is still here but I'm seeing him trying to open up but the thing is I tried to but not completely and wholeheartedly, I'm still scared but as you grew old, you'll realized that your parents also get older and weaker. I'm afraid that I will grow up without even have a good memory of him and a good memory of a complete family.
Before the month ends, I would like to share another story of mine.
But before that let me tell you why I love blogging. I used to update my diary before but I feel like blogging makes me more comfortable it's like a haven for me, an escape, a freedom where I can write things and express what I'm feeling.
Have you ever feel like you hated someone so so much but the things is your heart tells you to forgive and give another chance? If you are thinking that it's about love, you are mistaken. It's about my father. I used to hate him so much and I always remember how scared I was when I was younger. He cheated, had an affair and had a child from a different woman, he resigned from his work when I was a sophomore (highschool) , his words are scary but still we tried to make things work but the thing is, you can't expect it to be as easy, we were all together but you can feel that there is a gap in between. He went to the province to plant on my grandma (mom's side) land , it's been a year I guess and he went back here again because he wasn't feeling well. People might actually think I would be excited since Christmas is coming, we have to be complete but the thing is I'm not. I'm scared. I keep on imagining things like he would do something bad to us. And now he told me he would go back in the province tomorrow. And suddenly, here I am crying while writing this. I admit that I used to hate him so much and feels like the wound from the past is still here but I'm seeing him trying to open up but the thing is I tried to but not completely and wholeheartedly, I'm still scared but as you grew old, you'll realized that your parents also get older and weaker. I'm afraid that I will grow up without even have a good memory of him and a good memory of a complete family.
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