11/29/17 Before the month ends, I would like to share another story of mine. But before that let me tell you why I love blogging. I used to update my diary before but I feel like blogging makes me more comfortable it's like a haven for me, an escape, a freedom where I can write things and express what I'm feeling. Have you ever feel like you hated someone so so much but the things is your heart tells you to forgive and give another chance? If you are thinking that it's about love, you are mistaken. It's about my father. I used to hate him so much and I always remember how scared I was when I was younger. He cheated, had an affair and had a child from a different woman, he resigned from his work when I was a sophomore (highschool) , his words are scary but still we tried to make things work but the thing is, you can't expect it to be as easy, we were all together but you can feel that there is a gap in between. He went to the province to plant on my grandma (mom...

Is someone there? Is there anyone who is willing to listen? I'm scared because my dad will be going home. Scared even just hearing the word "dad," scared that everytime I hear the doorbell ring, I have a fear of opening the door knowing that it might be him. I grew up having a father but not the fatherly type that you can imagine. More than scared than feeling the love, more bad memories than the good ones. I feel weak right now.  Is someone there? Someone talk to me... 639958704799

14th of November.. Nine o'clock  in the evening, trying to sleep while listening to songs in my sister's playlist. One song played and ended, the slow became fast, a cycle so random and unexpecting.. Voices echoed in the room, as if it was trying to tell me to relax and try not to overthink and stress myself.. Every songs were comforting, I can see myself in every lyrics uttered My innerself  Back from the past, now and in the future Exciting, scary that I will not be as strong as I think.. Reality is hard, will I be able to survive it?